Why is it that you can have everything you thought you wanted… and still feel completely off?

Not broken.
Not in crisis.

Just… not right.

In Episode 3 of In the Spotlight, Tony Babcock sits down with transformational coach and energy healer Tammy Goulet to unpack a realization that hits like a gut punch:

You are the common denominator in your life.

And while that truth can feel confronting at first, it’s also the key to taking your power back.

The Moment Everything Cracks Open

Tammy takes us back to a pivotal moment in 2017.

After a long, exhausting day at work, she got off the bus and started walking home.

But something felt different.

Instead of looking forward to being home, she had a shocking realization:

“I don’t want to go home.”

Not because something was wrong externally.

But because internally… nothing felt aligned.

She walked toward her house feeling like her entire life didn’t belong to her.

And when she finally sat down inside, the truth surfaced:

“I’m not happy. And I don’t know who I am anymore.”

The Hard Truth: You Are the Common Denominator

Through working with a social worker and psychologist, Tammy was confronted with a powerful idea:

She was the common denominator in every situation in her life.

At first, it felt unfair.

Of course it did.

It’s easy to point at:

• Other people

• Circumstances

• Past experiences

But the deeper truth is this:

You are the one interacting, reacting, and accepting what happens in your life.

And that means…

You also have the power to change it.

Why You Feel Stuck (Even When You Know Better)

One of the biggest reasons people stay stuck isn’t lack of awareness.

It’s conditioning.

From a young age, we’re taught to:

• Fit in

• Be agreeable

• Follow the “right” path

• Prioritize others

Over time, that noise drowns out something important:

Your internal GPS.

You do know what’s right for you.

But you’ve just stopped listening.

The Real Work: Small Shifts, Big Transformations

So how do you actually begin?

Tammy breaks it down into simple, powerful steps:

1. Recognize Where You’re Giving Your Power Away

Look at the patterns in your life.

Where are you over-giving, over-explaining, or over-accepting?

2. Forgive Yourself

This is non-negotiable.

You didn’t know better before.

But now you do.

And holding onto guilt only keeps you stuck.

3. Take Responsibility for Your Reactions

You can’t control what people do.

But you can control how much power you give it.

When you hand over 100% responsibility for how you feel…

You lose yourself.

4. Start Listening to Your Inner Voice

Not society.

Not expectations.

Not fear.

You.

Even if it’s quiet at first.

5. Take It One Step at a Time

Tammy describes it like this:

“It’s like being buried under dirty laundry… and removing one piece at a time.”

You don’t need to fix everything overnight.

Just start.

The Myth of Toxic Positivity

One of the most refreshing truths from this episode?

You don’t have to be positive all the time.

In fact, forcing positivity can disconnect you even more.

Instead:

• Feel your emotions

• Honor them

• Move through them

Because real growth doesn’t come from pretending everything is okay.

It comes from facing what’s real.

Coming Back to Yourself

The goal isn’t to become someone new.

It’s to remember who you were before the noise.

Before the expectations.

Before the conditioning.

As Tammy shares:

“I used to look in the mirror and not recognize myself. Now I can say, I love you, I choose you, I respect you.”

That’s the shift.

If You’re at a Crossroads Right Now…

If you feel like:

• Your life doesn’t fit anymore

• You’re exhausted from being everything for everyone

• You know something needs to change, but don’t know where to start

This is your sign.

You don’t need all the answers.

You just need to begin.

Talk about it.
Write about it.
Explore it.

And most importantly…

Stop ignoring yourself.

You always have a choice.

Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

A choice to:

• Listen inward

• Take your power back

• And start showing up for your life differently

One small shift at a time.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

• Tami’s Website: https://go.speakyoursoulmagicks.com

• Tony’s Speaker Style Quiz: Discover your style using AI

• Tony’s Online Courses: Spotlight Confidence Programs

Connect with Tony Babcock

• Instagram: @tonybabcockofficial

• TikTok: @tony.babcock

• Facebook: Tony Babcock Official

• LinkedIn: Tony Babcock

• Main Website: tonybabcock.com

Book Tony to Speak

Looking to bring "Spotlight Confidence" to your next event? Book Tony here.