You Are the Common Denominator: The Truth That Changes Everything
Why is it that you can have everything you thought you wanted… and still feel completely off?
Not broken.
Not in crisis.
Just… not right.
In Episode 3 of In the Spotlight, Tony Babcock sits down with transformational coach and energy healer Tammy Goulet to unpack a realization that hits like a gut punch:
You are the common denominator in your life.
And while that truth can feel confronting at first, it’s also the key to taking your power back.
The Moment Everything Cracks Open
Tammy takes us back to a pivotal moment in 2017.
After a long, exhausting day at work, she got off the bus and started walking home.
But something felt different.
Instead of looking forward to being home, she had a shocking realization:
“I don’t want to go home.”
Not because something was wrong externally.
But because internally… nothing felt aligned.
She walked toward her house feeling like her entire life didn’t belong to her.
And when she finally sat down inside, the truth surfaced:
“I’m not happy. And I don’t know who I am anymore.”
The Hard Truth: You Are the Common Denominator
Through working with a social worker and psychologist, Tammy was confronted with a powerful idea:
She was the common denominator in every situation in her life.
At first, it felt unfair.
Of course it did.
It’s easy to point at:
Other people
Circumstances
Past experiences
But the deeper truth is this:
You are the one interacting, reacting, and accepting what happens in your life.
And that means…
You also have the power to change it.
Why You Feel Stuck (Even When You Know Better)
One of the biggest reasons people stay stuck isn’t lack of awareness.
It’s conditioning.
From a young age, we’re taught to:
Fit in
Be agreeable
Follow the “right” path
Prioritize others
Over time, that noise drowns out something important:
Your internal GPS.
You do know what’s right for you.
But you’ve just stopped listening.
The Real Work: Small Shifts, Big Transformations
So how do you actually begin?
Tammy breaks it down into simple, powerful steps:
1. Recognize Where You’re Giving Your Power Away
Look at the patterns in your life.
Where are you over-giving, over-explaining, or over-accepting?
2. Forgive Yourself
This is non-negotiable.
You didn’t know better before.
But now you do.
And holding onto guilt only keeps you stuck.
3. Take Responsibility for Your Reactions
You can’t control what people do.
But you can control how much power you give it.
When you hand over 100% responsibility for how you feel…
You lose yourself.
4. Start Listening to Your Inner Voice
Not society.
Not expectations.
Not fear.
You.
Even if it’s quiet at first.
5. Take It One Step at a Time
Tammy describes it like this:
“It’s like being buried under dirty laundry… and removing one piece at a time.”
You don’t need to fix everything overnight.
Just start.
The Myth of Toxic Positivity
One of the most refreshing truths from this episode?
You don’t have to be positive all the time.
In fact, forcing positivity can disconnect you even more.
Instead:
Feel your emotions
Honor them
Move through them
Because real growth doesn’t come from pretending everything is okay.
It comes from facing what’s real.
Coming Back to Yourself
The goal isn’t to become someone new.
It’s to remember who you were before the noise.
Before the expectations.
Before the conditioning.
As Tammy shares:
“I used to look in the mirror and not recognize myself. Now I can say, I love you, I choose you, I respect you.”
That’s the shift.
If You’re at a Crossroads Right Now…
If you feel like:
Your life doesn’t fit anymore
You’re exhausted from being everything for everyone
You know something needs to change, but don’t know where to start
This is your sign.
You don’t need all the answers.
You just need to begin.
Talk about it.
Write about it.
Explore it.
And most importantly…
Stop ignoring yourself.
You always have a choice.
Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
A choice to:
Listen inward
Take your power back
And start showing up for your life differently
One small shift at a time.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Tami’s Website: https://go.speakyoursoulmagicks.com
Tony’s Speaker Style Quiz: Discover your style using AI
Tony’s Online Courses: Spotlight Confidence Programs
Connect with Tony Babcock
Instagram: @tonybabcockofficial
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Main Website: tonybabcock.com
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